You are in Control of your Happiness! Regardless of where you are!

1/12/2014

I quit. I give up. I don't see the point. I can't keep doing this. I'm overwhelmed and I hate this place and everyone around me. If only I could just get out of here, then I will be happy! I remember thinking, I wish I lived in my own world, my own planet: with no money, no corruption, no fighting, no loud voices or angry people or people who judge. I truly wanted to escape to anywhere but where I was! Unhappy, sad, confused, frustrated, and constantly crying, one day I heard the words that continue to resonate in my mind daily. "Kerri, just do what you love, and everything else will follow," said the most wisest of men i know; my dad!

Anyone that knows my dad understands he doesn't speak much, a very quiet person! When he chooses to speak, it is usually important, but if he is pointing while speaking in a loud stern voice, its then, you better be listening closely because he is saying something profound! I was always crying, so as he spoke I continued to cry and cry unable to believe I could enjoy everyday or even more, want to enjoy everyday. He said, "Kerri, You make your life what you want it to be wherever you are." I listened, I heard, but I didn't believe him, however I never forgot those words.

It was years of constant struggle, a constant battle in my mind: positive self talk, followed by my negative echo: from as early as eight years old. I didn't know at the time I had a negative echo, what I knew was that I had a negative voice constantly telling me I didn't fit in, I wasn't good enough, I wasn't pretty, too fat, I could go on; understand if it was a negative thought, I thought it and believed it! It doesn't help when you lose faith, regardless of what your faith is, without it, you have no purpose, nothing driving you to Live!

When I got to a point when I truly felt I couldn't keep going, I gave up....

I woke up, in a hospital where my loving, caring brother had taken me. In an attempt to escape from a feeling of hopelessness; causing constant nausea, crying, aches and pains, irrational thinking, bad decisions, I chose to consume too much medication (anti-anxiety) coupled with alcohol. The doctor said I had to be placed in an in-patient, psychiatric unit. I flipped! I had been training for a big triathlon and wasting time in a hospital was not in my pre-race plans. He was adamant, and I was placed in the hospital. (I realized after days of walking and running the halls, doing push-ups and sit-ups that this was in their eyes, crazy behavior and if I planned to get out of there I needed to tone it down!) Colored pencils and paper proved to be very soothing! I managed to convince them that I was feeling fine, just like I did to everyone that I surrounded myself with in my daily life! The difference is, I knew I wasn't, and I refused to leave the hospital until they enlisted me in their outpatient behavioral health program! This was the life changing event for me! I chose to listen to what the therapists were teaching; how to recognize our thoughts, feelings and actions, then make changes so the outcome is different than we had in the past. Make no mistake, changes do not happen overnight, nor do they take place without constant attention, hard work, and a support system. It has been five years of constant attention to my thoughts, feelings, and actions... but I can finally say, I believe you dad!

Positive is Powerful!

It's not about moving away, or complaining about everyone and everything around you, or generalizing everyone as a stereotype you made up in your mind... It's about taking initiative for who you are, what you are doing and choosing to make changes to enjoy everyday right where you are! It's about being proud of who you are and your unique qualities and talents, not comparing yourself to others, or trying to "fit-in." Opportunities... to enjoy each day, to learn, to grow, to develop...are all around us, everyday! Look around and see the great people, there are many!!! Stop focusing and wasting your energy on those that frustrate you... Look at the gorgeous views surrounding you, its truly beautiful! stop looking for what's "wrong" with it, and the reasons you want to escape..

Re-focus! Live a life you don't need to vacation from!

Start paying attention to what you say to yourself and to the people around you! Pay so much attention to becoming the best version of you, to improving the immediate community around you that you have no time or energy to worry or speak about someone else.

Surround yourself with the people who lift you up! Who help make you become the best version of you!!!

You are in control!!! you make your life what you want it to be regardless of where you are! So start Living! Make this the best year of your life! Celebrate your individuality! Embrace who you are and become the best version of yourself! Stop making excuses, and start making changes! Look for the positives, they are there!

Positive is Powerful!
You have a choice to be happy!

My nana gave me a small, silver coin I kept with me at all times. On it, it said, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference." Whether you believe in god or have faith in something else, the words are wise. We must understand there are things we cannot change, and there are things we can. The key is to learn there is a difference and act accordingly!

Why do I speak about the importance of positive self talk to our youth and adults wherever I get the opportunity?

I know I'm not alone and by speaking up and letting others know they too have the power to be happy regardless of their current situation, I may help just one person find the courage to start listening to their positive voice and taking appropriate action to learn to stop the negative echo. I want to help someone understand they should be proud of who they are, who they were born to be; to encourage them to become the best version of themselves!

Positive is Powerful!
See from a different perspective!

9 Comments

Melissa

1/12/2014 12:52:54 pm

Wow! I am so proud of you. Changing lives one person at a time. A domino effect. Amazing!!

Manda link

1/12/2014 06:39:40 pm

Thank you for taking time to share this. So many people go through this and fight with it everyday. Inspiring post.

Connie S

1/12/2014 07:49:30 pm

You are an amazing person!!! You made so many positive changes in my life and can never thank you enough!! I find myself falling backwards and boy did this post put my back in my place. Thank you for being you!! Love you.

Ken

1/12/2014 11:12:31 pm

Thank you for that Kerri. I have two questions which may sound sarcastic, but they're not. Your dad told you to do what you love; what if you're not sure what you love? And what if you don't have anyone to surround yourself with? Curious to what you think.

Kerri Jahelka

1/13/2014 02:51:11 am

Hi Ken! Thanks for reading! Those are good questions, I can totally relate! For I had the same thoughts! I had no clue what I "loved" or wanted to do at the time; my mind was always everywhere. So I started doing what I really enjoyed, at that very moment; which is key! I dabbled in whatever I thought interested me at the time. Got involved in artistic type things; which created many odd jobs For myself. You name it, I tried it! Singing in a band, jewelry making, bridal party makeup, lawn maintenance; basically anything that made me happy at the time!
I setup a small room painted with bright colors and positive quotes on the walls, as well as some exercise equipment. Its was originally intended as a sanctuary for me to use as recreation therapy! That's not what happened; I live in a small town, and word started spreading that I was personal training. People seemed to think that since I had a bs in exercise science I was opening up a studio to the public!!! I wasn't! And I didn't want to!! My family told me to call "so and so" because they had inquired about me training them. I didn't call. It want long to they came knocking! So..... I started training... Then, they wanted me to start training their children.... So I started training children.... Over time I started realizing that by helping others achieve better health and wellness, I was also helping myself! It's ten years since I started that little place, it's now much bigger and I help many more people, all while helping myself too! I always thought I had to have a plan, I had to know how, or be good at something before I could say I would try. I now realize, it's taking action that creates the journey day to day! Yes, I now plan for the future, but I live in the moment, enjoying the journey! Looking forward to see what's next!
When I say surround yourself with the people that lift you up, who help you become the best version of you... It may be difficult to do. Fortunately for me, I had my family to rely on for support. However, As a young adult, I wanted more than my immediate family! In the outpatient program I was involved with, they always asked if we had a support system in place. If you didn't, they always had support groups you could be part of. I chose to attend a support group for awhile, it was comforting knowing I was with people who "understood."
I came to a point where I believed I had no friends nor did I want to spend time with anyone; especially where i was living. How was I going to find people to surround myself with; in my mind I didn't want to hang around anyone in my area bc I generalized everyone as a specific type of person. What I had done was focus on everyone and everything around me that I didn't like. One day, while i strolling in the woods, probably with my dog, or was i picking the weeds at my brothers, I had an idea... I would bring the people to me; i started an adventure club! I figured there had to be more people like me, I was just looking in the wrong places!! Personally, I have a love for the outdoors, so I wanted to surround myself with people that did as well! Start seeing people from another perspective! Maybe you can join a club near you? Or attend a support group?
Thanks for asking Ken! Hope I helped!

Kathleen Najafian

1/13/2014 04:33:17 am

Kerri, thank you for sharing your story! This us all too common in so many lives and you are an inspiration!

paul grima

1/14/2014 09:01:32 pm

This popped in front of me at just the right time, thanks for being brave enough to put yourself out there.

Some college kid

1/21/2014 11:41:31 am

I often wonder if we were actually born freakishly similar or if it's that I have looked up to you for so many years that I aimed to be like you. Either way, I'm so thankful to have you as a role model, to have been a part of your little brightly colored sanctuary, and to now have a bigger brighter DF sanctuary (&DF fam) to come home to! Thank you for being you! SO many people's lives changed and so many more to come.

mary kunkle

2/7/2015 09:12:09 am

Wow Kerri thanks for sharing that. Looking at you now you just radiate so much joy and happiness that honestly its contagious. Joining the gym was by far the best decision i have Ever made. Who would have guessed what an impact it would have on me and my life. Every word you wrote i feel you ive been there and not so long ago. I was pretty miserable and also at the end of my rope. You have helped me so much. Its incredible. The whole positive is powerfull its really starting to sink in and i feel better then ive ever been. Its amazing. I look up to you and i want to be free and positive and happy just like you. I cannot even begin to thank you. I feel that my higher power knew that being a part of dedicated fitness was right were i needed to be. I am just so gratefull and i see myself changing more and more every day. The love and support ive found in your gym compares to no other. All the many years of medication and therapy has'nt helped near as much as you have in the seven short months ive had the pleasure of being a member. Its awe inspiring,it truly is and im so glad that you found yourself and more importantly your calling. This is definitely where you were always destined to be. You've got a great gift and incredible strength, energy and talent. I believe you truly not only touch but change the lives of every person you meet. You have most definitely helped me. Positive truly is powerful!! Thank you so much Kerri, i am forever gratefull!!!

Positive Is Powerful Blog